The Leave-taking
by MASH4077th
Summary: "They already knew that something was wrong. They're waiting for news from you-and you can't lie to them." James must break the news to his friends.
1. Chapter 1

**The Leave-taking**

_I wonder if I'm allowed_

_Just ever to be…_

**_"Tornado," Jonsi_**

I don't want to do this to them. I stare at my phone, a war being waged between two loyalties.

"They'll _want_ to know. You _need_ to tell them."

"I can't—not now, anyway. Let them believe you're fine for a while. They don't deserve to be hurt sooner than necessary."

"They already knew something was wrong. They're waiting for news from you—and you can't lie to them."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Who would I call first? Or was there some way to tell them all at once? _That would be much better_. I pick up the phone to call Miles.

"Hey James, how'd the tests go?"

"It was fine. Listen, do you and Bill and Davy want to go have lunch at the park?"

"Bit late for lunch, isn't it? 3:30?"

"Yeah, well, I'm hungry and bored."

"Oh, anything for you, dear," he replies, his voice sarcastic and effeminate.

"Shut up. Okay, I'll see you there."

I hang up, letting out a sigh of relief. I hadn't _lied_ to Miles—I'd just avoided the truth. For now.

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My stomach turns as I walk toward my friends. They were setting up our picnic, each in his own way—Miles tackling Bill to the ground as he spread out the blanket, and Davy laughing at them while _actually_ setting up the picnic. This may be the last time I see them like this—carefree and happy. After today, everything would be different.

Would I ever walk like this again? I was striding quickly across the grass without a twinge of pain, thanks to my newly-prescribed meds.

_I will make this as short and painless as possible._

I take a deep breath, then greet my friends. Everyone seems perfectly happy—except Miles. He keeps looking at me like he knows something's up. I do my best to give him a genuine smile, but he probably sees through it anyway.

We wolf down all the food, then get out the Frisbee. Frisbee has always been our favorite. I run and jump and laugh and _breathe_, absolutely pain-free. God, I'm going to miss this.

Everything is going spectacularly—until I fall hard on my right side. My hip hits first, of course. The pain shoots through my entire body, causing me to convulse and cry out in pain.

"What happened?"

"You alright there, mate?"

"I saw it—he landed on his hip."

Davy was the last to speak. I couldn't replay through the shock and pain. They all knelt next to me until I got hold of myself.

I sit up slowly, still panting. Three pairs of hands were instantly on my shoulders, there to support me if I fell backwards. I waved them off, but was grateful all the same.

"James, there's something you need to tell us, isn't there," said Bill in a low, serious tone.

I can't look him in the eyes.

"Yeah. There is. Hang on…"

I shift my position so that we form a circle. I still cannot look at them. Instead I stare at the grass, but I can feel their gazes boring into me. The pain has completely subsided. Nothing but numbness remains.

_Deep breath._

"I…er…had some tests done, as you know, and…the results were…not good."

I take a risk and glance up at their faces. Davy and Bill look as I expected, fear and apprehension laced in their expressions. They stare at each other in a panic. Miles, however, sitting directly across from me, does not take his eyes off mine for a second. He just stares at me, propping his head up on his fists—he's preparing for the worst. It makes me want to vomit.

"I've been diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma," I say rapidly. "I've got cancer."

Now I look them all in the eyes. Shock is written on all their faces. Only Davy manages to speak up.

"It's not…it's not lethal, right? You'll get better?"

_Oh, Davy. So full of hope._

"I'm afraid not. I…I've got less than a year."

I've tried to keep my voice steady, but seeing their faces causes my voice to break.

_God, I'll miss them so much._

Bill stares at the grass opposite him, shaking his head in disbelief. Tears are already streaming down Davy's face. He's staring at the sky, muttering, "Oh God…oh God…oh God." Miles continues to stare directly into my eyes, mouth open, and with a horrible sadness.

"No."

His voice breaks, and he drops his forehead onto his fist.

Everyone falls apart.

Davy immediately clutches onto me, sobbing into my shoulder. Tears begin to slip down my face, unheeded. I hug him back tightly—Davy is the most sensitive of the lot; he needs this. Miles and Bill immediately follow, sobbing—even Miles. I let them.

They hold onto me as if they never want to let me go. The force of their hugs eventually knocks me down, and we all lay next to one another on the grass. After a while, we lay quietly. We watch the clouds together. We watch the sunset. Night falls.

I know my meds are wearing off. My chest begins to get heavy. The pain in my leg is coming back.

_Oh God, I can't breathe._

I can't let myself get out of control. They haven't seen me recently; they don't know how much worse it's gotten. Or that it's spread all over my body.

_I can't hold back anymore._

I let out a hacking cough, and the force of it compels me to sit upright. Hacking, wheezing, choking—I can't stop. I'm dizzy. Everything's gone blurry.

I suddenly realize that my friends are desperately trying to help me. They're patting my back and offering me water. On noticing this, I grab it and drink it greedily.

_I can breathe again._

I set the water down, still gasping for air. That's when the pain hits me full-force. The effort of movement and the lack of medication have made a couple of themselves, it seems. I wince and let out a gasp of pain.

"Please…take me home. Meds…wearing off," I rasp between each breath.

"Okay. We've got you. We've got you, James."

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**Hello, everyone! This is my first Third Star fic. Let me just say that THIS MOVIE...words can't even begin to describe my feeling towards it. It crushed my soul, but it was beautiful. It hurt, yes, but it was a good hurt. It is truly a beautiful story. If you haven't seen it, GO SEE IT NOW. RIGHT NOW. )**

**Anyway, enough with the chatter. I am American, but I did my best to sound as un-American as possible. Please let me know if you spot an American-ism and I will fix it. Let me know what you think! Drop a review my way. I'm curious as to how this turned out. More chapters are to come.**

**Thanks! Hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

I wake with a gasp. I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling fan. Dawn has already begun to seep through my windows. I sit up in utter confusion.

How did I get home? I can remember nothing beyond our picnic and lying under the stars. I reach out across my nightstand and pick up my mobile. I have three texts, one from each of my mates, and a voicemail from Davy.

Bill's text was first—sent at two in the morning.

"Hey Jim. I'm sure you're not up but wondering if you're okay. Text me when you get this."

_Wondering if I'm okay? What…_

It all comes rushing back. I'd forgotten my meds. Bill had carried me to Miles's car. They took me home—I was delirious—moaning and calling their names. Bill carried me to me room, and they had all argued over which medication to give me. They eventually decided to just give me morphine. I had passed out after that.

I quickly let Bill know that I'm alright, and thank him.

I open Miles's text.

"Hey Jim—hope you're alright. Gave us a good scare last night. Davy stayed with you for a good 2 hrs after Bill and I left. He's a bit shaken up. Might want to talk to him."

Bill has probably already told Miles that I'm fine, so I don't respond. I open Davy's text.

"James, I"

He must have sent that accidentally. I open his voicemail instead.

"James, it's Davy," the message begins. His voice is shaking. "I…was wondering if I could come by your place later today. I sort of…panicked last night when you…well, you know. So, um, I was wondering if you could teach me which medication to give you when. Just in case, you know. So." He clears his throat. "To be honest, James, I want to talk through this whole thing with you. I want to make sure that you're okay—really, properly okay. Please call me back. Thanks."

I lower my phone. I can't believe he stayed with me for the better part of the night, then called me as soon as he got home.

_Poor Davy. He's not going to take this well._

I call him back. He picks up after one ring.

"James—hey." He sounds so relieved.

"Hey, mate, are you alright? Miles said you were a bit shaken up."

"Me? Why are you asking me? You scared the hell out of me last night!" he says, slightly manic.

"I'm…so sorry."

He sighs. "No, mate, don't be sorry. _I'm _sorry…I'm just a bit tired, I guess."

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

He remains silent.

"Davy…"

"I'm alright, really. The question is, are you? I didn't know what to give you except morphine."

"You did fine. I'm just sorry it happened. By the way, yes, you can come for lunch. I'll teach you what all the stuff is."

He sighs in relief. "Thanks, mate. Okay. I'll see you then."

Davy's POV

A few months later, and James is back living with his parents. I'd stayed with him in his flat for a while, but I couldn't be there 24/7, and it just became too hard for him to be alone. I moved to his parents' house with him, of course. I was still his main caretaker. He doesn't know that I quit my job to be with him.

Occasionally, he walks with a cane, but never when his parents are around. He does his best to appear as healthy as possible in front of his family. Not in front of me, though. He tells me when something's wrong, or if he feels bad, or if he needs help. It makes me feel…special, somehow. To be needed. It makes me feel like I'm doing something important.

Most of James' friends have left him. Some came to visit, but they never got in touch with him again. Sadly, Miles was one of them. He still texts James on occasion, but he always acts like nothing is wrong. That hurts James, I know. Miles was always his best mate, but now that he's needed, he's disappeared. It's disgusting.

Bill comes by pretty often, though. He usually comes when he's got a good story to tell, or he's come up with something exciting we can all do. I'm so grateful that he's stuck with James. He and I are really the only ones left.

James's birthday is in three months. Bill's come up with this mad idea to go on a camping trip—the four of us, all together. He didn't say anything about it to James, though, for which I am grateful. James would be all over it. We wouldn't be able to stop him from going.

The more I think about the details, the more I think it just might work. It would be hard, of course, but we're all used to that by now. We could make it. One last trip to Barafundle. I think it would bring some closure for all of us. Much needed closure.

Yes, we'll do it. We'll bring our friend this last piece of happiness and normalcy. For old times' sake.

**I'm not sure if anyone read this, but that's okay. Perhaps someone will find it and enjoy it someday. If you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it. Till next time.**


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